A good friend once told me that this corny quote, the title of my blog, reminded them of me.

I was thinking.  Would I get kicked out of class if I brought a McDonald's koala bear toy with me and taped it to my shoulder, and had random conversation with it during the class?  I think it's worth attempting.

I mean, I never got kicked out of class for smuggling alcohol in there that one day …
"Is that Smirnoff in your hand, young lady?"
"No sir, it's Dasani water!"
"But it says Smi-"
"Sh, they're testing out some new labels."

Yeah, it's a true story, kids.  But don't try it at home.  Your parents will indeed take your alcohol, and drink it with their boozer friends.  No, they probably won't, but ... it's a known fact, even ask ... MTV, or whoever you kids listen to nowadays.

Anyway, I was thinking, maybe I should take a trip far away in a bit.  Sip on pina coladas with a man named Bernie that smells like the inside of a wooden leg.  As long as he knows how to dance, that's all.  Well, if I never make the trip, I'll just buy a miniature donkey named Pete, and sell alarm clocks for the rest of my life.  And eventually marry a carnie.  Yipee.  And that whole thing was just a total random figment of my retardation.  But, to sum this whole blog up, for those of you who don't care enough to read the whole thing.

In a recent study, Greek Mormons were found as equally hated as homosexual Jews.

So, I was thinking, kids ... why is there so much hate and crime in the world?  I mean, why can't we up the "good-nay" and bring down the "ex-nay" ... That was corny, I should go staple myself to a dart board.  I don't know what the point of this blog was.  I just wanted to say ...

"If you're going to plan a mass suicide, why don't you at least plan a giant orgy beforehand?  Hey, then you all might even changed your minds!"

Aha ... ahahahahah.  And this blog was totally worth it.

A new semester, new changes ... I'm not quite sure if I'm excited or dreadful, just because my next classes are going to be quite difficult.  Physics, that'll be just a pleasant experience ... considering the teacher wants to smack me upside the head every two minutes.  He threatened to have one of his students break in my kneecaps even.  I'm not saying names.  And I'm not saying the man is out to get me, but I'm not saying much anyway.

And of course, exams.  Now, I'm no expert on exams, considering my marks are excellent ... until I write the exam, and my marks drop ten percent.  Honestly.  But, I am going to give some pointers on what I think are great ways for preparing for exams!

1.  Okay, now, this is one of my most crucial studying habits, because it clears the mind and lets you relax a little.  I don't care if it's fourty below or fourty above out there; take a walk.  I always go for a walk with my tunes a-blaring, just because the fresh air and the exercise gets you all cleared out (if you understand what I'm saying).  Some people, they wake up, study until the break of dawn, sleep for about a couple hours, and then they are back up and at it again like a hamster on a wheel.  Honestly though, your mind will turn to gooey shit if you don't give yourself time to readjust and breathe.  It won't soak up any of that goodness; it'll be like filling a sieve with sand.  And for all you that have read Fahrenheit 451, you know that's a baaad thing.

2.  Eat healthy during this time.  You may be like, "What the hell?" but let me just say, that when you eat healthy, you have more energy and you feel better.  Therefore, you are more rejuvinated and can do more studying.  My teacher's friend, all she ate during her exam studying time was junk, junk, junk.  She ended up passing out in her room from her lacking diet, and it was not good.  Don't believe me?  Well, too bad, I'll just be the one to benefit from my celery and ... eggs.  Rawr!

3.  Dance in your living room to Madonna, or music from the 80's.  Now.  I may be the only one who participates in the voodoo activity, but if I'm sitting there studying and the dog is pissing me off and my dad won't shut up ... I'll just turn on my stereo in the living room and PUUUMP IT!  Yeah.  Now like ten cars are going to be parked outside of my living room watching.  Oooh boy.

if i honeztly typd my shiz like dis al the tim do u no how anoyn that wud b to read.  i mean honstly r u folwin tis?  oops *folowin.  hahaha t ypo!  oopz ok wel for thos of u tat typ like tis ...

DARN YOU!  Lmfao.  Seriously, for those with an I.Q. above 100, can you please resort to human talk?  Scrap the cavemen talk?  I mean, I've read Flowers for Algernon before, and honestly, people will mistake you for a mentally challenged bimbo when you type in such a manner.  I know there's something called free will or whatever, but if there wasn't ... I would be smashing a whip against your ignorant fingers!  I know, I'm perfect and all, so it's hard for me to get on your cases ... but really, do you want people looking down on your sorry asses day in and day out!?  Do you want to be treated better than a peanut shoved up a felon's ... you know what!?  Then do I have something for you.  GRAMMAR, that's what it's called.  I mean, we won't get  into comma splice or run-on sentences ... just some simple decency to the  people around you.  I think my eyes have taken enough wincing and burning for one lifetime.

Let's try an example.  If you are too lazy to fix grammar and spelling, which is understandable, you can merely try one or the other with an easy flick of your finger!  Now, I am giving up precious homework time to teach you simple elementary school grammar and spelling, so you honestly must consider.

Without grammar or spelling:
"ic"
With grammar:
"Ic."
With spelling:
"i see"
With grammar and spelling:
"I see."

Now, big golden star for you if you can achieve grammar and spelling!  Big red checkmark if you don't achieve anything.  This is going no where, so I'll just go sulk in my corner and watch infomercials, while playing with some lego.

Apparently, I should so totally blog again, because some kids said I should ... LMAO!  Because they actually read them.  So, as a first blog of the new year ... YOU GUYS SUCK AT CURLING!  You know who you are.

 

-Megan. <3

 

MORE TO COME!